Our goal with WACAP’s Impact Blog is to advocate for children in need of a family, show how together we are making a difference for these children, and share the stories of families as they are created and go on to thrive.
Today’s sequel-post by WACAP board member and adoptive mom, Laura Templeton, is all about the uncertainties of adoption, and how one family chooses to embrace the mystery.
Every expectant parent has all kinds of questions about their new child. Usually these questions focus on the future. But with adoptive parents, there are a lot of questions about the past as well. And, many of these questions may never be answered.
For my husband, the physician assistant, the questions involved our kids’ medical histories and conditions. Are the medical tests and results accurate? Could we request another blood test since the initial results were surprising? What is that spot on our son’s eye? And of course, what was the medical history of their birth parents, and what kind of prenatal care did our children receive? In our children’s cases, this information wasn’t available, and maybe never will be. But the spot on our son’s eye? In this case, it turned out to be harmless, and we were able have it removed; no harm, no foul. As for our kids’ health – they are some of the healthiest kids around. I used to joke that in some ways, nothing builds a robust immune system like a year in an orphanage!
My questions focused on the birth parents. I wanted to know their stories. Were they a couple? What do they do for a living? What are their strengths and talents? How did they make the decision to give their child a different life, without them? Years later, how do they feel about their decision?
With the proliferation of genetic testing, some day we may be able to find our children’s birth parents and answer all these lingering questions, and more.
But for now, like so many other adoptive parents, we accept these mysteries as part of our family’s story. Just like the splendid secret of “How did I get so perfectly matched with this precious child?”
Whether a seasoned adoptive parent, or new to the possibility of adoption, what unanswerable questions are on your mind? Let us know.